2025 was generally a year of global shock and awe, but the most profound jolt I received was deeply personal—and arrived exactly on day 364. A casual audit of my phone showed I had averaged seven hours a day doomscrolling. That’s 2,555 hours sacrificed to “brainrot” memes, dance videos, food and travel vlogs.
New Year resolutions aside, this was a mandate to oil my rusty neurons. I pledged the Two-Tap Rule: tap twice on a learning app before I could touch social media.
Whether the algorithm gods sensed my dopamine addiction or the “resolution season” was simply upon us, I found myself diverted to Headway (not a plug) — a popular microlearning app.
From suburbanite to aspiring mogul
I began with Finance & Business section, and my first read was “Think Like a Millionaire.” I sliced it, diced it, and summarized it until I started looking at my suburban middle-class neighborhood with disdain.
The app informed me a daily coffee run siphons off $455,000 by your retirement. Naturally, I banned coffee dates and made an announcement: “From now on, we stick to Bru Instant.” To say this didn’t spark joy in the household would be a gross understatement.
I spent my evenings drafting five Next Level Business Ideas (NLIs), fine-tuning them with the cold, calculated precision of a shark—until I hit the Philosophy section.
The Stoic Mother vs. Ubermensch
Ancient wisdom for modern chaos, they claim. I wonder if Aristotle ever had to moderate three simultaneous dinner conversations about prom dresses, college applications, and the latest gossip, all while navigating perimenopause and hearing a stray “Pass the salad!” from the husband.
By the time I’d cycled through Kant, Aurelius, and Nietzsche, my identity and ego were spiraling in opposite directions:
- The Tao whispered of stillness and acceptance.
- Nietzsche commanded me to question everything and make people uncomfortable (a skill I’ve actually mastered since my pre-teens).
- Aurelius insisted the obstacle is the way.
- Kant… well, I simply Kant with him.
The truest knowledge is understanding that you don’t know everything — and that’s where your wisdom begins. Enough said.
I pondered the Machiavellian “Prince”—cynical, ruthless, unstoppable. Looking around the dinner table I wondered who fit the title best. Meanwhile, my “Next Level Business Ideas” were shoved back into the incubator while I pondered logical illusions and learnt to spell transcendental dialectic.
ZENOBIA KHALEEL | Shobha Tharoor Srinivasan: The Gifted Wordsmith (April 26, 2017)
Swedish Death Cleaning and the nostalgia trap
Having decluttered my mind, I turned to my physical environment. A cluttered home is a reflection of a cluttered mind, so I toggled between Swedish Death Cleaning and the KonMari method. I chose the faithful KonMari method: take a random object and test if it sparks joy. The litmus test was my wedding album.
I cannot quantify the joy, but the resulting wave of nostalgia hit so hard it threw Kant and Nietzsche out the window. It surged into an epic WhatsApp photo overshare spanning over seven family groups (both sides), three college alumni groups, and two school chats. It led to reminiscences of the dearly departed and remorse over long-gone hairlines, waistlines, and jawlines.
Hacking the brain
At this juncture, both my brain and my emotions were exhausted. I treaded into Hack my Brain to uncover the secrets of neuroscience.
Am I a frozen kitten or a proactive monkey?
ZENOBIA KHALEEL | Bharti Mukherjee — the Matriarch of Multiculturalism (April 15, 2017)
The app told me to use Thinkertoys. Delve into the deep recesses of the left and right lobes of your brain to bridge the gap between my primary instincts and the cold realms of logic
Use your primary instinct, but within the realms of logic. Huh?
Practice fluidity of thought, draw parallels between polar opposites like roses and rattlesnakes and by the time my right brain was done, I was sketching logos for heavy metal death bands.
I tried to articulate my retention to my husband: “The opposite of phenomena is noumena.”
Blank stare.
“At this point, you’re just making up words,” he said.
The reality check
Next stop: making mornings productive. I steered clear of Instagram and clicked Apple News. After 15 minutes of national and international affairs varying from heart-wrenching to infuriating to downright ludicrous, I realized why people are driven to doomscroll. When your daily feed is filled with imagery of bombs, insurrections, and rubble, a dancing cat isn’t just a brainrot—it is a merciful distraction.
The appeal of the unreal is a survival mechanism in this war-mongering world. These mindless amuse-bouches of entertainment offer a necessary suspension of disbelief, a brief respite from the sobering reality of being a mute spectator on the global stage.
Next, I tackled procrastination.
ZENOBIA KHALEEL: I have woken up on many an occasion with musical doubts answered in my dreams: sarod maestro Amjad Ali Khan (March 19, 2014)
I started by finally distributing those Christmas treats to my neighbors. Meanwhile, my business ideas are “marinating” in an Ikigai Venn diagram, waiting for that perfect intersection of passion, skill, and—most importantly—sanity.
The procrastination paradox
As I transitioned into the procrastination module, I realized my Next Level Idea (NLI) was actually a masterclass in avoidance. I wasn’t marinating my business plans in an Ikigai Venn diagram; I was using a complex Japanese philosophical framework to avoid making a cold call.
The app reassured me: procrastination isn’t about being lazy; it’s about emotional regulation. My brain was viewing my business pitch as a saber-toothed tiger and my kitchen pantry as a safe cave.
The holiday haul dilemma
The biggest tiger in the room? A mountain of Christmas treats that should have been distributed three weeks ago. My various alter-egos were up in arms:
Inner Stoic: “The cookies are indifferent. Their existence does not change your character.”
Inner Entrepreneur: “These are sunk costs. Liquidate the assets (eat them) or outsource the distribution.”
Actual Procrastinator: “But what if I need a sugar hit to understand the
‘noumena’ of my tax returns?”
ZENOBIA KHALEEL | Reverse brain drain: the experience of three couples who moved back to India from the US (January 20, 2014)
I stood in my kitchen, staring at a tin of peppermint bark, trying to find its place in the Ikigai circles.
What I love: Eating the bark.
What I’m good at: Eating the bark.
What the world needs: For me to not give them stale bark in the middle of January.
What I can be paid for: Definitely not this.
The actionable reset
To break the cycle, I implemented the Five-Minute Rule. I grabbed the lingering tins and marched to my neighbor’s door.
ZENOBIA KHALEEL | My Little India (December 18, 2012)
“Merry… mid-January?” I said, thrusting a box toward her. She eyed the wilted ribbon. “Are these from 2025 or 2026?”
“The obstacle is the way,” I replied cryptically, channeling my inner Aurelius before retreating to my safe cave.
One task checked off.
My neurons felt slightly more oiled, even if my neighborhood reputation has officially shifted to “eccentric philosopher with questionable treats.”